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| seriously, i hate life. most of the time it sucks, it gets good for a little bit but then it sucks again. and this is the time that it sucks. i'm just so tired of everything and everyone. it's so weird how most people don't know i'm so controlling and such a bitch b/c i know i am. the one thing that bothers me is that i've been alone all my life. i've never had a sister, i have friends but it seems like they're always disappearing. and theres only one person in my life that i can rely on and it seems like they're disappearing too. it's so lonely being over here by myself. everyone thinks, "oh, it must be great living in san francisco." trust me, it's not. not when you're all alone and you don't even get along w/ your cousin anymore. how sad is that? my own blood and we don't even like each other anymore.
and it's funny and mean at the same time that i don't want ash & "voldemort" hanging out, when the same thing happened to me, but i was the friend. but now that i'm on the other side, i know how she felt now. the thing is, ash just doesn't understand why i don't want "voldemort" w/ him. it's like, whenever they're together, i'm losing him b/c i swear, "voldemort" is using ash like their own personal boyfriend, when "voldemort's" ghetto ass boyfriend is in jail. "nothing's gonna happen," says he "and if it did, it would have happened already." and i'm thinking, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN? so you would have gone w/ it? gosh .. idk. i'm so paranoid, but W/E! i still don't like "voldemort", don't wanna see them, hear them or hear their name. fucking annoys the hell out of me.
and another funny thing is, when people say, "oh, i'm there for you, you can talk to me about anything." lies. all lies. they're probably tired of all the shit i have to say, b/c it's the same shit all the time. and "oh, lets hang out." but we never do. what kind of shit is that? come home and don't even hang out cause they got some other shit to do. god, i'm SO TIRED OF IT. can't even rely on the people that you use to rely on. every time i come home, they flake on me.
*sighs* guess i have no one to vent to but in my blog.
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| life suckkksssssss. lmao. funny how it changed in a month from good to bad from my last entry. seriously it sucks, well for me. i now have a room to myself and the bed. thank God and i have a nice computer. so yay for that. i am dreading for school to start, maybe cause i failed another math class. gosh .. i hate math. & i haven't told my parents yet. man .. another $600 just to retake the class and rent is $550 and i didn't pay off my credit card bill yet which is a balance of $800 :( gosh. i'm so broke. i need to stop shopping, but i can't help it. it's san francisco! they have the best shopping :) i'm so stressed over school and workkkk. eeek. i already broke down crying like 3 gazillion times and i'm pretty sure ash is tried of it, sometimes i just can't handle it. everything is so overwhelming. i'm only one person and i have everything bottled up inside of me. no one knows how it feels to be surrounded by a bunch of people, but feel the loneliest around them. i need some serious help. lol. idk what to do anymore. i give up.
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| i haven't written in here for so longggg. lmao. life has been good :) i can't wait for summer.
may 28th - six flags
june 6th - jonathan's graduation
june 15-19th - going home + getting my OCEAN!
july 6-8th - having a fun weekend w/ my boo boo :)
i need to save $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.
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| yayyy. this quarter is OVER! i'm so freaking happy. lmao. i didn't do so well this quarter b/c i was slacking off but this next quarter, i plan to go to every class! lol. i'm not gonna miss any class unless it's an emergency or something but yeah. for my merchandising trend analysis class, i got a C+  and my merchandising strategies i also got a C+  and for my other two classes, my teachers haven't posted grades yet. see ... hella bad, i hella slacked off.  but anywho ... work has been goodie two shoes. lol =] same ol same ol. and i can't wait until xmas is over! then i can start saving money lol b/c whenever i got paid .. i spent it on xmas gifts .. yeah i know, i'm bad w/ money. i'm trying to get better .. so after xmas, it'll be all good =]
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it was freakin' delicious. haha. lets see .. i got home on tuesday afternoon and then ash & i dropped sherry off and i went to ash's house and then went home around 10 and knocked out. wednesday .. woke up .. i got dressed for nothing 
then ash went home and then i went to target & michael's w/ my mom. i saw chau & mushi @ michael's and went to target and i got a peacoat 
whoot whoot. went home and knocked out. thursday, got up, went to the store w/ my mom to make won ton soup and then around 12;30 ash came over and helped make won tons 
around 2, he & i went to cal expo to pick up my aunties & my uncle from hmong new year then dropped them off @ home. i changed into my pretty dress and ash wanted to change too so we went to his house and came back. and around 5ish, we started eating cause we were hungry. lol. and i only had 2 plates, i was so full. it was freakin' good. lmao. then after dinner @ my house i went to ash's house just to chill and then went home around 9 b/c he had to wake up early and so did i. friday, we left around 6 and got to sf around 7;15 and i knocked out until 9 b/c i had work @ 1 and i still needed to shower and yeah .. working on black friday was KUH-RAZY! i went early just to see what the sales were and it mad crazy and i didn't want to go in the store and i just went to work. but yeah .. that's it for now.